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BREAKING NEWS: Harriton Student Has Too Much Homework
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Written by Jeremy Levick, Staff Writer
Harriton sophomore Alex Shapiro has expressed a deep concern for the amount of work assigned to students at his school. “It’s not fair,” explained the 5’4” Harriton Freshman Basketball Team alumnus. “It’s like my teachers don’t even care that I have activities and friends and stuff.”
Shapiro participates in many extra-curricular activities, like playing basketball with his friends, strumming his acoustic guitar, and “chilling”. Clearly, a unique Harriton student. The sophomore has apparently inquired (although not to their faces) why his teachers don’t understand there are other things besides school. Added Shapiro, “my teachers are dumb.”
While he understands it’s to reinforce what he learns in school, he apparently “doesn’t give a crap” and “could care less about learning.” I asked him if he cares about getting into college, to which he responded, “that’s in like 20 years…they don’t care about my sophomore year!” Ah… to be young.
“He really won’t stop talking about it,” says junior Alexis Fisher, who heard Shapiro talking to his friends while waiting in the cafeteria’s slow hoagie line. She reports to have heard him “whining about a Western Civ assignment and having to study for a health quiz.”
“It isn’t fair!” confirmed Linda Shapiro, Alex’s mother, in a testy email to Western Civilization teacher Howie Kritzer. “It’s like they have no regard for Alex’s personal life!” The proud mother was confident, however, that an assertive email from a mother would set the teachers straight, as she’s found it useful during her son’s duration at Welsh Valley Middle School.
Kritzer had no comment, as he was busy eating ice cream with his wife.
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October 13th, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Best article in the paper.
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October 13th, 2011 at 3:32 pm
Haha yo this is funny as hell, you gotta keep this up!
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October 13th, 2011 at 3:32 pm
lol jeremy you nut I loved the part about kritzer and his icecream. Write one about Gehret?
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October 15th, 2011 at 1:59 pm
You make me proud. Keep up the good work! In a few years, you’ll have the world laughing!
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